🗳️ Forensic Report: Evidence ID #002 — “The Campaign Catastrophe”

Filed By: Mayra Mains, Political Shenanigans Oversight Unit
Division: Dead Wrong Investigations
Case Reference: DWI-0725-POL

📍 Location Recovered:

One full-size campaign poster promoting “Uncle Artie for Transport Minister” was discovered in the community centre foyer — crumpled, coffee-stained, and aggressively stickered.

🔍 Evidence Details:

  • Candidate: Uncle Artie, self-declared people's choice for Transport Minister.

  • Motive: Unknown — possibly revenge for the 2013 roundabout incident.

  • Damage:

    • Rubber duck sticker placed directly over the poster.

    • Poster corner torn and partially burned (accidental? emotional?).

    • Glitter residue detected. Possibly from Barb. Possibly not.

  • Slogan: "Bringing Stability to Chaos — One Roundabout at a Time."

  • Campaign Status: Derailed. Literally.

💬 Mayra’s Notes:

“The defacement was deliberate. The choice of a duck? Symbolic mockery or secret warning? Either way, it quacked the case wide open.”