The Goat Sanctuary
Some people meditate. Some journal. Some scream into the void. Here at Bad Decisions Club, we look at goats: a tiny sanctuary of hooves, chaos and unexpected emotional regulation.
Real Goats We Have Personally Witnessed
Photographed in the field by BDC operatives. Click any goat to request a larger dose of visual emotional support.
The Welcoming Committee
Arrived before us. Left after us. Managed the whole event.
Judgement Unit Alpha
Made eye contact. Knew things.
Snack Inspector
Approached under the false pretence of friendship.
The Fence Philosopher
Stared into the distance like rent was due.
Tiny Chaos Intern
Still learning. Already dangerous.
Professional Leaf Auditor
Reviewed every plant. Approved none.
The Side-Eye Specialist
Has concerns. Will not elaborate.
Captain Nibble
Leader of small rebellions and chewing crimes.
Goat Lore From the Internet
Some factual. Some questionable. All spiritually accurate.
Simon
Not a woman in distress. Just aggressively goat.
The Official Eye Test
If you saw blue, the prescription is one baby goat immediately.
Unexpected Friendship Arc
The tiger expected lunch. Instead, it got a roommate.
Marathon Goat
Entered uninvited. Left with a medal and everyone’s respect.
Relationship Escalation
Dating apps failed. Goat diplomacy succeeded.
Free Goat
Found wandering like it pays no taxes and fears no fences.
Goat Disclaimer: Some goat lore comes from the internet wilderness and belongs to its original creators. We preserve it here in the name of science, emotional support and hoof-based nonsense.
Know a Goat We Can Cuddle?
Know a farm, sanctuary, rescue, petting zoo or suspicious paddock containing friendly goats available for pats, snacks and emotional support? Report it to the Department. Bonus points for baby goats. Extra bonus points if they scream.
Report a Goat LocationHave Goat Evidence?
Seen a goat doing something suspiciously human, emotionally healing or criminally funny? Submit the evidence for possible inclusion in the archives.
Submit Goat Evidence