The Attic
Sometimes the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee demands evidence.
Apparently tonight's meeting cannot possibly continue until somebody climbs upstairs and checks every box we've stored since approximately forever.
You don't have to come up here every time the committee asks.
But if you're already halfway up the stairs, let's at least turn the light on.
We store all sorts of things up here.
Some were packed carefully. Some were thrown into the nearest box because life was happening too quickly to work out what else to do with them.
Things I wish I'd done differently
Decisions made with the information, capacity and circumstances I had at the time.
Old versions of us
Who they were. Who I was. Who we were together.
Plans we made
Some may still happen. Some may look different. Some may need grieving.
Things I haven't dealt with yet
Not because I'm failing. Sometimes there simply hasn't been enough space.
Things that still hurt
Time passing doesn't automatically make something irrelevant.
Things I forgot were mine
Interests, dreams, relationships, routines and pieces of myself that existed before caring got loud.
The committee has requested Box 1993.
Of course it has.
Apparently something you did decades ago now requires urgent reassessment using everything you have learned since.
Request reviewed.
Past-you did not have current-you's information.
Past-you did not have current-you's experience.
Past-you made a decision from where they were standing then.
The committee's request to judge that person using information delivered years later is denied.
There may still be things worth revisiting. There may be apologies worth making, lessons worth keeping or grief worth acknowledging.
But revisiting something is different from putting yourself on trial for not knowing the future.
Maybe the boxes need better labels.
Not every box needs opening. Sometimes knowing what is inside is enough to decide what happens next.
Open when I'm ready
This matters, but tonight isn't the time.
Keep
Memories, lessons and parts of myself I still want with me.
Needs help lifting
This one might be too heavy to unpack alone.
Not mine
Responsibility, blame or expectations I somehow ended up storing for somebody else.
Still deciding
I don't have to know what this means yet.
Committee access denied
Absolutely not at 2:13am.
You can put the box back down.
Opening something doesn't obligate you to finish unpacking it.
Remembering something doesn't mean you have to solve it tonight.
And deciding that something deserves attention can include deciding to come back with help.
Just because something is stored here doesn't mean it needs unpacking tonight.
Where do you want to take the box?
You are also allowed to leave it exactly where it is.
The Bedroom
The committee can have its evidence request back. I would quite like to sleep now.
Go back downstairs →The Room With the Closed Door
I opened something and now I need somewhere to say what came out of the box.
Close the door behind you →The Lounge
This box feels heavy. I think I need another set of hands.
Come sit down →The Exit
Maybe I found something up here that helps me understand what I need next.
Look for a key →